Puppy Life

The thing where your dog turns into such an asshole that you can’t even let her out to pee in the morning without fear that she will:

A. Bark so much and so loud she’ll wake up the entire neighborhood

B. Bolt out the small, warped area in the front gate and run into the middle of the street or 5 blocks away before you can catch her

C. Squeeze thru the newly discovered small hole in the chain link fence to try and attack a 40 lb pit bull at 7 AM when you aren’t wearing shoes or even really awake yet.

Adventures in Dog Walking

That thing where you take your dog to the park and there is a guy throwing a frisbee to his french bulldog. Then you turn your head for one second to pick up the ball and hear the guy say “oh shit.” And then you turn around and realize your dog just got clobbered by said frisbee and/or french bulldog and the guy immediately turns around and leaves the park.

Then your dog is slow, has no interest in continued playing, you have no idea what exactly happened and feel like you are the worst dog mom ever.

That.

Puppy Life

Pretty sure I dodged an incredibly expensive bullet while learning a very important puppy lesson.

Flossing. Important for gum health. Something I do regularly. So – I flossed and threw the string in the trashcan then got into the shower. Sometimes Poppy likes to sit on the bath mat while I shower and I think it’s cute to play peek-a-boo with her.

In this instance of peek-a-boo, to my horror, she had the floss hanging out of her mouth, the rest either down her throat or in her tummy. Thank god for the piece that was still exposed, which I immediately grabbed and pulled out of her mouth.

I can only imagine the vet and surgery bills for a puppy with a giant piece of wax string in her GI tract. Lesson learned, make sure the floss makes it ALL the way in the trashcan.

Noted.

Puppy Life

That thing where the repair man comes over to fix the lock on the back door and you don’t notice he didn’t shut it. Then about 20 minutes later you notice it is way too quiet in the house and you realize the 5 month old puppy is nowhere to be found.

Then you go in the backyard and she is still nowhere to be found and the back gate is standing wide open. And your neighbor said ‘I was just playing with her and didn’t notice the gate was open’ (and you want to kill the neighbor because…never mind) and you run through the alley and streets yelling her name and she isn’t anywhere. Then you are just about to totally lose your shit and she comes out from behind a car and runs up to you, happy as can be.

Yeah – that.

Puppy Life

I started to watch some training videos on YouTube after another day of horrible walking experiences with Poppy where she was so insane I actually stepped on her tiny foot on accident. It was a good thing I did. Turns out all dogs start out as unruly assholes and you need to be patient and repetitive and it will get better over time.

All those great, well behaved dogs I see out in the world – they didn’t come from the stork like that. Right?

Puppy Life

Today I woke up to the cutest sweetest puppy in the world who just wanted to snuggle and give me SO MANY kisses all over my face and mouth!

It was later that morning when I found out she was discovered eating cat feces minutes before she came back to bed to hang out with me.